yesterday i woke up crying from a dream. i was dreaming we were on the beach– sophia, ernie and a little girl. she was my baby. i woke up crying knowing that i was never able to have any children of my own. it just broke my heart all over again. most of the time i’m ok with it, but i can’t shake this sadness. i missed out on so much. i never got to feel a baby grow inside of me. never got to feel a baby kick. never got a baby shower. childbirth. i never got to experience the first time seeing your newborn baby and feeling that indescribable love i read all about. i’ll never have a mini me or my husbands mini me. i know i’m blessed to have 2 beautiful children to call me mommy, but experiencing all that stuff would have been nice though. ya know? life is so unfair sometimes.