yesterday i woke up crying from a dream. i was dreaming we were on the beach– sophia, ernie and a little girl. she was my baby. i woke up crying knowing that i was never able to have any children of my own. it just broke my heart all over again. most of the time i’m ok with it, but i can’t shake this sadness. i missed out on so much. i never got to feel a baby grow inside of me. never got to feel a baby kick. never got a baby shower. childbirth. i never got to experience the first time seeing your newborn baby and feeling that indescribable love i read all about. i’ll never have a mini me or my husbands mini me. i know i’m blessed to have 2 beautiful children to call me mommy, but experiencing all that stuff would have been nice though. ya know? life is so unfair sometimes.
I’m sorry babe.. I think that’s very normal to want to experience that, and while you’re thankful for what you have it’s still not fair that you can’t experience that. For now just focus on the good things and I’m happy for you that your two kids came into your life because they really are cute kids and I think you guys are meant to be in each other’s lives. Imagine if you had your own kid, then you wouldn’t have them in your life you know?